What’s Your rush?

What’s Your rush?

So many supposed to be special days had gone past only to be noticed as the day took place, that moment, that day. They all seem to mush together really well lately. Distinguished from one another only by nap, and the duration of it. Perhaps, even the changed alarm tone to know, whether it’s for work related things; or just, a kind reminder that the sun is up. We should be awake by now | normal standards.

We had been one of the many, anxious for lockdown to be phased down beginning May, to stock up on ciggies. Main concern that they would be sold out in panic buying. Hope you can imagine how we felt when policies changed, and the announcement released that cigarettes where still banned going into the month of May…

Then there’s most of everyone else, hoping, wishing things could go back to normal. Completely exhausted their patience for staying at home, and being entertained somehow – while feeling like a wasteful citizen in society. I’d like to ask you, what are you really wanting to rush back to? Realistically considering the facts – Life and the particular public living lifestyle may not exist any more. The way we met people, enjoyed art and music… It’s all about to change. (I mean, the time where we used to eat the cake someone else blew on… that’s ‘bravery’)


The past few weeks, I’ve kept myself from keeping up to date with the news. What the next conspiracy was, where the developments of the vaccine progressing – and how truly bad things were in South Africa…. Every time the president addressed us my main concern seemed to have been whether tiles could be moved for my clients, whether we would be required to go back to the showrooms, and whether there’d be some law set in place assisting those in further financial despair because of this lockdown.

Again, as previously explained here ; no one wants to make purchase should they not have seen the tiles, nor do they know what’s happening in the next two months. Cash is becoming king. Unless circumstances are pressuring them to do so ( eg. having to move out end May.)

This is only the start of my venting. Where I used to enjoy public spaces, my interaction with malls and shopping centres had been scary and nerve wrecking as hell.

Who are we to judge another’s speculation of safety?
Who are we, wanting to enforce at least a minimum standard of wearing masks and keeping our distances – to conform with the demand to reopen the shops?

We went to a shopping mall, to buy baby grows for my sister in-law. 🙁 Her baby shower would’ve been this Saturday. 8th May 2020. Had to be cancelled. We haven’t seen them in more than 6 weeks- oh my have that tummy grown! Sneaky lil one has yet to reveal whether boy or girl.

It had been difficult keeping our distances, while trying to communicate clearly enough with our masks on; and refraining our arms from giving hugs.


This is weird, I don’t like it, it’s thrown everything out of balance and proportion…
Unnecessary fights are being had.
Loveable hugs and Dinners’ spent together will not happen.

I have never felt like such a helpless, useless sales person before. All, because I can’t perform. I cannot make promises. I cannot be the best I can be. Feeling useless reaching out to new prospects – cause should I feel this way; just imagine their minds racing off to infinity!

I’m over sleeping, becoming a bit of a sloth, and overthinking and freaking out silently in my mind. Yet, in moments of strength I’ve been working on a daily worksheet – to pick up on my ups and downs. And hopefully plot out a new daily workable routine to accommodate this new forceful manner of living…. Once it’s at a decent quality, I think I’ll share it 🙂


So, everywhere yet nowhere at once. What have you been keeping up to?

RJ

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