When I give, it does not come with strings.
I’m not keeping track of what you owe me. When I give, I choose to do so without ulterior motives. I give because I know what it’s like to be without. To long for and be ignored; to speak and not be heard; to care for and have nothing returned. When I give it’s because I know the value in what I have in my heart. And I refuse to let the world stop me from sharing that, But when things start being taken for granted, When you no longer appreciate my sincerity, I won’t switch, I won’t get angry, and I won’t be spiteful. I’ll just get smart, and change your role in my life. Because when I give, I’m all in. But when I’m done, there’s no turning back ” | Rob Hill
Within Dr. Gary Chapman’s book ” The 5 love languages” he expressed how there are five particular ways of expressing love to another, and how the book’s guidance could be a tool to help identify how to show love and care for your partner for an enriched connection. ( And within my application, how to show love and care as everyday acts of kindness towards others. Including, acts of love and kindness towards ourselves.)
Towards an enriched connection to the YOU in T H E R E.
Before we head into detail, consider the different in-depth intensities and intentions you may express during your interactions. Are you more patient with certain people? Or only with kids? How do you tend to react towards strangers? Also consider, how do you react towards your siblings and parents? How often do you express your gratitude for their existence? How much do they express their gratitude for yours? How do we perceive this gratitude? And are some methods more valued (‘effective’) than others?
#1. WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
How do you express yourself and tone of voice. Do you keep composure? Do you breath deeply and count as far as 10…? Do you express gratitude towards others for a job well done? Is your approach gentle? Is it loving? Of course, we all have our personal boundaries of special treatment and kinda lovin’ which is circumstantial to personal and professional environments. Yet, words have a way of encouragement as well as the cause to total damnation.
#2. PHYSICAL TOUCH
What’s your opinion to valuable physical gestures? The holding of hands; the warmth and comfort of a hug. The arm-hooking with a friend at a festival, or a pat on the back for a job well done at the Office. How about the friendly gesture to allow a stranger ahead of you? How the simplest of hand-shakes could create something astonishing in partnerships. I believe this could be one of the most intimate of languages; to be threaded around carefully. Once trust had been earned within the inner comfort circle of another, treat it gently and with respect at all cost.
#3. RECEIVING GIFTS
A gift, I believe, is a way for us to reminisce back to the moment we had received it. To relive the emotion and the feeling of value long time after it had been experienced. A way for the other person to express his interpretation of You within this world, through their eyes. To reflect the intent of Knowing what’s desired or needed at the time. The gift, representing a lil something of an inside story; is also of a complicated nature. How often are we able to accept a gift with grace, and an open heart without shame, guilt or an obligation to repay it? A story to tell another day, a prolonged proof of experiences had. To be reminded of once was, and the valued connection of interaction. You don’t need to do anything to deserve it… When it happens, just florish within the splendar. And remember it for later.
#4. QUALITY TIME
When last did you take the time to spend within the company of another? To converse about the past, present and the future. About what could’ve been and can still happen within a distant reality. To living in the moment and being expressed with emotion and connection among the ones you Love. How often do we loose ourselves to up-live a fairy tail compared to building reliable authentic relationships with those we meet? With quality time I believe we are responsible to add that extra spunk within the conversation, to make it memorable for others, and honouring our character in the moment. It takes a certain set of truths intertwined with layers of trust – to allow an after smile within the memory of another, later.
#5. ACTS OF SERVICE
How selfless are we? Selectively, or consistently? How authentic are we within our character display, to act consistently for the greater-good? Why aren’t there many of us who’ll go the extra mile for another to save them time, money, heartache, experience, difficulty, or confusion in the future? Why aren’t we making eye contact with people along the sidewalk anymore? (I mean, really keeping it and smiling “Good day” to the other.) How far are we willing to sacrifice our comfort zone in order to achieve another’s approval or gratitude? How often are we acting in service off, instead of expressing balanced servicing from within?
I see these 5 languages as intertwined tiers – always ever present in every moment. They are all up for grabs to allow experiences to flow in your favour with the slightest application here and there. A good word, an expression of gratitude. These are all semiotics after all. It’s the essence and the meaningful gesture behind each act that counts. The words could be a whisper or a song. The touch could be deepened understanding through a trinkle of a finger down your spine. The gift could be anything but everything bought($) -such as a kiss on the cheek, a perfect businez review with referral, a challenging thought to make you think hard about something and change your perspective; a friendship, a nack for something… (you get the idea… s e m i o t i c s… YOUR meaning of the essence.) Making every moment count, living in the moment with kindness in your heart – with the best intentions up your sleeve allow for anyone to enjoy their time spent within your presence. Truly value each other’s time and add perceived perspective shared stories to build each other’s journey into something like a Butterfly. Otherwise, why live if not for kindred beauty?
Take heed when you interact with another. Notice what you need most to feel loved and appreciated. And do others a favour and give them the same treatment. Deepen your understanding on how people appreciate one another and how they find things memorable and excitingly beautiful.
Take a deep breath and start to really listen to one another, and really challenge the topics we converse about ( and how we say things with emotion or in emotion.) Close the gap Break the ice, give that high five, and do that introductory hand-sake. We only get to live in that moment once. Make it memorable and show your compassion. Show your soft side, show your smart side. Either way, express it with beauty.
Sometimes somethings just make more sense when expressed in its truest form; no matter the level of vulnerability it exposes us to.